Spring 2018: Building Back Confidence

This spring was about building back my speed and my fitness piece by piece. But it was also about building back my confidence as a runner. Last year was difficult and not only had I really started to get down on myself, but I had also really began to doubt my ability as a runner. After Robbie Burns, I felt a glimmer of hope. I saw that work I was putting in was starting to pay off. This gave me the confidence to continue to work over the following months. This is what happened.

The Frosty 5K - Burlington (March 4)

The Frosty 5K came around beginning of March. This was the first year since returning home to Canada that I would not be running the Chilly Half Marathon that day. I knew that I was not going to be ready at that time to run a half, and while I probably could’ve gotten through it, it would not have been fun, it would not have been pretty and once again I would have been putting myself at unneeded risk. A week or so prior to race day, Michelle started talking about pacing me. Not to personal best (PB) she assured me - but to get a better sense of where I was in terms of my fitness level, and how I handle myself in a race.

While the prospect excited me, it also scared me. I hate 5K races. While speed is all relative, I’ve never really considered myself a fast runner. I always feel pressure, anxiety at the shorter distances. Michelle’s offer meant that I could relax, and not worry about my pace. However, I also was well aware with her in the drivers seat, this was not going to be a fun walk in the park.

We cruised along for the first couple of KMs - chatting a bit. Looking at her watch, Michelle confirmed with me what my 5K PB time was. I told her, following up with - “But we aren’t doing that today right?” She responded, “Oh, no no. We’re not.” Having no concept of how fast we had been running the first 2KMs I was convinced we were well out of range anyway. Michelle however, was already doing mental math in her head and decided it was.

We continued to pick up the pace over the last 3KMs. As my suffering began to increase, Michelle continued to talk me through it, giving me strategies to deal with my breathing, my anxiety and keeping focus. As we turned the corner up Brant street and started up that slight pain in the ass uphill towards the finish, we were hit by a strong headwind. I was pushing, but I felt like I wasn't moving at all. With these couple hundred meters left to go, Michelle turned around and started yelling at me "Look at the clock! Look at the clock! We are in PB territory! Sprint! Sprint! F**KING SPRINT!"

As I crossed the finish line and stopped my Garmin, Michelle came bounding towards me "You did it! You did it!" As she came in for a big hug, I two arm shoved her out of my path. This was the closest I had ever been to throwing up after a race. I spent the next few minutes bent over a garbage can at the finish line, doing everything in my power to keep my stomach in check. Managing to hold myself together, finally I stood up, took a breath and said "Ok, now we can hug." Michelle paced me to an amazingly perfect negative split 15 second 5K PB completely unexpectedly. I didn’t think I was in shape for this. As hard as it was, this was a huge confidence boost for me heading into the harder training that was ahead. It showed me that I was capable not only of coming back, but of coming back stronger and fitter than before. I love and appreciate her support, but more importantly her confidence in me as a runner. It has helped me believe that I can accomplish more than I initially thought.

Photo Credit: Cathy (Running Designer)

Salt Lake City, Utah (March 21 to 26): Ragnar Trail Warrior Summit

At the end of March for the second year in a row, I hopped on a plane and headed to Utah for the Ragnar Trail Warrior Summit. This is a couple of jam packed full days learning about new technology, trying gear from our sponsors, running in the mountains and hanging out with other Ragnar Trail Ambassadors from across the US. Ragnar Trail Cottage Country is coming back for it's second year at Hardwood Hills on August 24-25. Click here to register using my discount code if you are interested in ANY Ragnar Trail!

This year I decided to stay a couple extra days and explore some of the trails around Salt Lake City on my own. These few days spent by myself hiking up snowy mountains and bombing back down the trails, I found myself in a truly happy place. It was spectacular. This year is definitely more road focused, but this trip served as a reminder of where I want my focus to move to next year. Here are a few photos of those days I spent out on the trails:

Reassessing Goals: Mississauga Half Marathon (May 6)

For the rest of the spring, my focus was on the Mississauga Half Marathon. My training overall was going extremely well and I was feeling more and more confident in my ability to go out and smash this race. Unfortunately I ran into some hiccups at the beginning of April - some ongoing issues flared up and I had to miss some of the more important training runs. But, despite these issues, I was so happy to be able to actually still line up and run Mississauga (for awhile, it looked like I might have to miss it entirely). Michelle and I talked and reassessed my goals. My A Goal had originally been a big PB. At this point, I knew it was likely out of reach. My B Goal was a PB of any time. And my C Goal, as always, is just to finish the race happy and healthy.

Michelle gave me a rough pacing plan with the idea that pending how I was feeling throughout the race, I could stick to pace, or continue to pick up the pace. As the KMs clicked by, I was a bit surprised how comfortable I felt. Throughout the race I kept waiting to feel bad, or "hit the wall" and it wasn't happening. From KM 15 onward I was able to steadily speed up every KM to the finish. The last few KMs were a bit rough - as they should be. I don't particularly like the twisty and narrow waterfront path the race ends on. In addition, my body was definitely paying for my missed long runs - but just kept telling myself to hang on to the pace. I finished the race - comfortably achieving my B Goal - a PB of just over 3 minutes. This race gave me the confidence to know that I will definitely be able to achieve my A Goal at some point. (Thanks Jodie for this photo about 100M out from the finish).

I finished the race to find out Michelle had won the Half Marathon. I *may* have shed a few happy tears for her. She had worked so incredibly hard over the last few months, and it was really amazing to see it pay off for her. You can see Allison's video of Michelle blazing into the finish here.

Post race Allison and I decided to be big dorks, and show off our new matching gear from our sponsor Reebok. I think we can pull off the matching outfits pretty well.

Despite some hiccups along the way, overall this spring has been successful for me. I'm looking forward to continue to build on this for my major fall races. Before I start thinking about any of that, it's time have a bit of fun! Next up Ragnar Niagara! Racing 300KM from Coburg to Niagara with Team Endorphriends! Reebok has generously decided to sponsor us on our journey once again. Stay tuned for more on how to follow us on our adventure and some more reviews and feedbacm on the Reebok gear they have provided us with.